Getting Along to Go Along: A Better Pathway in Divorce

collaborative divorce, mediation, alternative dispute resolution, divorce, Illinois divorce lawyerCan the words “good” and “divorce” inhabit the same sentence? A nasty divorce proceeding can harm children; within that process, they suffer decline in math and social ability, returning to normal skill level only when divorce is final. So, divorce without drama, also known as collaborative divorce, can minimize the negative effect, not to mention the cost savings of avoiding courtroom interaction.

As retired Judge Michele Lowrance presents in her book, “The Good Karma Divorce”, the process is to separate from bargaining from a hard position and to move to interest-based negotiation with a “win-win” outcome. After all, this type of diligence follows logically from the path most take today: 80% of couples now live together before marriage, and 80% have reached the 10-year milestone in wedlock. So, if parting is decided upon, a “conscious uncoupling” using creative problem-solving minimizes confrontation and maximizes a positive feeling for both parents and their children.

Collaboration between spouses avoids the use of children as messengers between parents, and encourages them to love both, regardless of where they may go in life.Per the Collaborative Law Institute, costs average half that of courtroom litigation .The need to work around attorney schedules is totally avoided, and solutions are customized; any strict-guideline judicial decision-making is rendered moot.

It also avoids, as the Illinois State Bar Association cited in their report last year, the consequences of an under-funded court system burdened by inadequate staff and infrastructure, in which hearings are often placed at five-month intervals or more (in Madison County alone the wait time for a decision is in excess of 18 months.)

Selection of good counsel is vital, because not all attorneys practice or understand the concept of collaborative and cooperative law as a pathway. Selecting an Illinois family attorney with experience and success in collaborative law cases will save you time and money.

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