resolutionWe all know how most New Year’s resolutions work — you come up with grandiose ideas about how you will change and be different, you follow them for about a month and then you go back to your same old routines. While keeping resolutions can be difficult, there is no better time to take a look at your life and do a little introspection and self-reflection than the beginning of a new year, especially if you are recently divorced or you are looking to begin the divorce process. Divorces can be messy and difficult, but keep these few New Year’s resolutions in mind and you could come out of your divorce on top.

Let Go of Your Anger and Make a Point to Be Happy

A divorce can cause you to feel many emotions, including anger, fury, contempt, and hate. It can be one of the hardest things to do, but once you let go of your anger, you will find that you will be much more relaxed and that it will be easier for you to be happy. Instead of taking your anger out on your ex, release your anger and forgive your ex for anything they might have done. It will be in your family’s best interest for you to move on.

Focus on Improving Communication with Your Ex

You have probably heard it many times before, but communication is key, especially when it comes to co-parenting. Being a single parent is tough, but being a single parent who has to coordinate with an ex who they do not get along with is even tougher. Your kids (and you) will have an easier time with custody transitions if you and your ex can communicate effectively.

Make a Point to Spend Quality Time with Your Children

Though you may have your kids a majority of the time or even the same amount of time as your ex, it is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Making time for your children is extremely important after a divorce because now every moment you spend with them is more precious than ever. Focus on your children and make sure that they feel loved and accepted — more than they ever have before.

Hire an Aurora, IL Divorce Attorney to Help You Through Your Divorce

Divorces can be confusing and messy, both of which are not traits you want to associate with your new life. Whether you are just starting to think about a divorce, you want to begin the divorce process or you are in the middle of the divorce process, at the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we can help you with all aspects of the divorce. Keeping New Year’s resolutions can be tough, but with help from our knowledgeable DuPage County divorce lawyers, sticking to your resolutions will be a breeze. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

Sources:

http://www.homeafterdivorce.com/post-divorce-new-years-resolutions/

https://www.yourtango.com/experts/cindy-holbrook/12-new-years-resolutions-divorced-women

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/a-dozen-new-years-resolutions-for-the-divorced-parent

Posted in Life After Divorce | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment | Edit

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer,You can never be 100 percent certain that a marriage will end in divorce. There are so many mitigating factors that contribute to a divorce but a divorce does not happen overnight. It can take years or even decades for a marriage to degrade down and finally break, resulting in a divorce. There are certain behaviors that couples do that can be warning signs a divorce is in the future, but not all couples are created equally. What can mean trouble for one couple is perfectly normal for another. Here are a few things that could mean your marriage is on the rocks:

You and Your Spouse Are Constantly Criticizing One Another

Though it is something that we all do to everyone, criticizing your spouse should be done with care. When you criticize your spouse, you tend to criticize their personality or character, making your spouse feel like there is something inherently wrong with him or her. When you do this, you elicit a defensive response from your spouse, leaving you both unhappy.

You and Your Spouse Were Married Young — or After Age 32

Many people know that getting married young is a risky idea — some couples were meant to be and will last forever, but most couples will end up breaking up sooner or later. When you are young, you do not have enough life experience to know what you want. Alternatively, those who have been single for a while have an increased sense of independence and a need for space.

One Partner Thinks They Are Better Than the Other

There is a name for this — contempt. It has been said to be “the kiss of death” to relationships because it shows a blatant lack of respect, appreciation, and kindness — all of which are requirements for a happy and successful marriage. Examples of contempt can include name calling, eye rolling, insensitive joking, sneering and hostility.

You Do Not Communicate Effectively with One Another

Sometimes when a person does not know how to deal with something, they will withdraw from the situation to avoid conflict. This type of behavior is called stonewalling and can occur whether you leave the room or just completely shut down and ignore the situation. While this may seem like a good idea in order to calm down, it actually does more harm than good.

Discuss Your Options with a DuPage County Divorce Attorney

This list is not a comprehensive list of all warning signs for divorce, nor is it 100 percent indicative that divorce is where your marriage is heading. This list can help you examine your marriage and can hopefully help you determine whether or not a divorce is right for you and your spouse. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we understand how big of a decision a divorce is. Our knowledgeable and compassionate Aurora, IL divorce lawyers can help you determine whether or not a divorce is right for you. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

Sources:

https://www.verywellmind.com/four-scientific-predictors-of-divorce-4045691

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a33733/surprising-predictors-of-divorce/

https://www.bustle.com/articles/178999-11-predictors-of-divorce-that-are-important-to-watch-out-for

Posted in Divorce | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment | Edit

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child custody lawyer,Getting a divorce makes many things in your life far more complex than usual. Your children’s living arrangements become more complicated, managing your time becomes harder and even having your work life and home life balanced becomes more difficult. One of the things that can be the root of much stress is your finances and if you are not careful, your divorce can wreak havoc on them. If you are getting ready to file for divorce or you are currently in the process of a divorce, these four tips can help you keep your finances organized and simple:

Close Your Joint Accounts

Once you have filed for divorce, you should make sure you close your joint accounts, whether they are checking accounts, savings accounts or credit accounts. By splitting the amounts of both your checking and savings accounts, you can begin the separation process for marital property. You should also make sure to close your joint credit accounts so you do not rack up any more marital debt.

Open New, Separate Accounts

Next, you should open separate accounts that have your name on them only. It’s important that you remove your name from your spouse’s accounts or you remove your spouse’s name from your accounts. New checking, savings and credit accounts should be opened as soon as possible.

Know What You Are Spending

Do a little bit of research on what you are spending each month and what you are saving each month. Ideally, you should be saving more than you spend. Make sure you keep track of any child support payments, spousal support payments, rent, utilities, and other bills. This can ease your mind about your finances and it is always good to know where you stand.

Hire a Knowledgeable DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

Divorces are stressful and so are managing your finances. Put those two things together and you have one big stressful and complicated mess. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we understand that managing your finances on your own after years of marriage can be daunting. We are here to help you with all aspects of your divorce, from property division to parenting time. Our experienced Aurora, IL divorce attorneys will guide you through the divorce process, from start to finish. To set up a consultation, call our office today at 630-409-8184.

 

Sources:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/personalfinance/2018/05/30/tips-maintain-financial-sanity-during-divorce/630005002/

Posted in Divorce Finances | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment | Edit

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois parenting time lawyer, parenting time and repsonsibilities,Most people experience an influx of stress during the holiday season, but for divorced couples and their children, it can be even more stressful than usual. When you have kids, this time of year is filled with holiday parties, gift exchanges, school plays, recitals, concerts, and holiday celebrations. Divorced families feel the stress when they try to manage all of this out of two households. Traditionally, this time of year is very family-oriented and if you have recently gone through a divorce, or this is the first holiday season as a divorced couple, your kids might be feeling the loss of their family. Here are a few ways you can help your kids cope with the holiday season and enjoy the new family situation:

Remember: It Is Not About You

Even though you want to have a good time during the holiday season too, sometimes sacrifices have to be made. One of the most important sacrifices that you could make for your children is putting your own happiness aside so that they can be happy. If you and your spouse are fighting about who gets the children on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, give in this year and let them have the kids. Next year, you will get your turn and your children will not have to feel the stress of multiple houses on multiple days.

Plan Well in Advance

The key to making sure you have a happy and successful holiday season is planning. This can prove to be difficult because, in order to have things planned out, the communication between you and your ex must be decent. Your children may have multiple things going on during the holiday season that they would like both of their parents to attend, such as plays, concerts and holiday parties. If it is impossible for both of you to be in the same room together, pick and choose which events you will attend.

Keep Some Old Traditions and Make New Ones

Kids thrive off of tradition and routine. Keeping some of the old traditions you used to practice when you were married can help them experience the familiar warmth of the holiday season. It is also a good idea to introduce new traditions for just you and your kids to practice to ease them into the change. You could make it a tradition to volunteer at a homeless shelter for an afternoon or you could allow them to open one gift on Christmas Eve.

Contact a Compassionate DuPage County Parenting Plan Lawyer

The holidays can be tough for anyone, but divorced families tend to have a more difficult time during the holiday season than any other time of year. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we understand the ins and outs of making sure each parent has adequate parenting time during the holiday season. Our skilled Aurora, IL parenting plan attorneys can help you craft a comprehensive parenting plan that addresses all of your needs, including holiday parenting time. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

Sources:

https://www.cnn.com/2011/12/21/living/holiday-survival-divorced-darents/index.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/divorced-children/200812/managing-divorce-and-children-during-the-holidays

https://childmind.org/article/divorced-for-the-holidays-what-to-give-the-kids/

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/coping-with-the-holidays-when-divorced-with-children_b_6226908

Posted in Allocation of Parental Responsibilities, Child Custody | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment | Edit