DuPage County divorce lawyerFor many couples going through a divorce, their biggest worry is how it will affect their children. Most people think that the only children who will be affected by divorce are those who are still young and living with their parents. In reality, children of all ages can still feel the effects of their parents’ divorce, even when they are adults. When parents who have adult children get a divorce, it can be particularly difficult for the whole family, because these marriages have typically lasted for years, if not decades. If you have older children, and you are going through a divorce, it is important to be sensitive to their feelings and needs. Here are a few tips to follow to help your adult children during this family transition:

Tell All Your Children at the Same Time

Once you and your spouse have made the decision to end your marriage, it is usually best to tell all of your kids at the same time. You should schedule a specific time and place to inform your children together in a family meeting. It is never a good idea to confide in only one child first because it would be unfair to expect him or her to keep that secret until you are ready to tell everyone.

Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings

One of the most important things you can do for your adult children during your divorce is to acknowledge their feelings and let them know that their emotions and thoughts are valid. In many cases, the way older children react to a divorce can be overlooked or deemed not as important as younger kids’ reactions.

Remind Them That You Are Still a Family

One of the big emotional issues that adult children of divorce face is the feeling that they have lost their “first family.” In some situations, older offspring might have a spouse and children of their own. Even though they have formed their own familial units, they may still grieve the loss of their childhood as they knew it. It is important to remind your older children that while you and your spouse are no longer married, you will always be a family.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Attorney

It is no secret that a divorce can be stressful for the entire family, but what many people do not realize is that even adult children of the divorcing couple are affected by the end of their parents’ marriage. Any divorce that takes place later in life can be devastating, but the transition can become even more difficult if you do not have help from a dedicated Aurora, IL dissolution of marriage lawyer. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we can help you throughout the divorce process to make it as smooth as possible. To schedule a consultation, call our office today at 630-409-8184.

Sources:

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/24/fashion/weddings/never-too-old-to-hurt-from-parents-divorce.html

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-adult-children-of-divorce-find-their-voice

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DuPage County parenting plan lawyerChange can be hard for anyone, but it can be especially difficult for children. When it comes to divorce, children will typically experience a lot of change in a short period of time. Their living arrangements will change dramatically, they will not be spending as much time with either parent anymore, and in some situations, they may even have to adapt to new routines. All of this change can be hard on children, because they depend on stability and routine so much. This is a known fact, which is why the state of Illinois requires every divorcing couple who has children to create a parenting plan before they can finalize their divorce.

What Is a Parenting Plan?

A parenting plan is a legal agreement that contains information about how two parents will take care of their children once they are separated. In Illinois, a parenting plan will contain information about how parenting time is divided, along with how parental responsibilities are allocated. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA) contains the basic elements that all parenting plans must include in order to be approved.

Elements of a Parenting Plan

The courts encourage spouses to come to an agreement on the parenting plan. Most of the time, if couples agree on the parenting plan, they are more likely to be satisfied with the contents of the plan and actually follow the agreement. If they cannot agree, they must submit their own parenting plans to the court, and a judge will make the final determinations about the parenting plan. At a minimum, every parenting plan should contain the following:

  • How significant decision-making responsibilities will be allocated

  • How parenting time will be divided and a proposed schedule of that time

  • How future proposed reallocations of parenting time or decision-making responsibilities will be handled

  • Each parent’s right to access the child’s medical, dental, and psychological records, plus school and extracurricular activity reports and schedules

  • The child’s official address, for school enrollment purposes

  • Contact information for each parent, including their address, phone number, and place of employment

  • How a parent should notify the other parent if he or she ever intends to relocate

  • Requirements for each parent to notify the other of travel plans, health care, emergencies, or any other important child-related issues

  • How communication with the other parent will be determined during each parent’s parenting time

  • How the right of first refusal will be exercised

  • Transportation arrangements between the parents

  • Any other child-related issue that the judge or parents deem to be significant

Contact an Aurora, IL Divorce Attorney

Child-related issues are always among some of the most disputed topics in a divorce. If you and your spouse are getting a divorce, what you think is best for your children is not always what your spouse thinks is best. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., our skilled DuPage County parenting plan lawyers have handled many types of divorce cases. We have the experience to create a parenting plan that works for both you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse and is in the best interests of your children. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

Sources:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000050HPt%2E+VI&ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8350000&SeqEnd=10200000

 

Posted in Allocation of Parental Responsibilities, Aurora divorce attorney, Child Custody, Children of divorce, Divorce, DuPage County divorce lawyer, Illinois Law, Life After Divorce, Parental Rights, Parenting Time, Relocation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment | Edit

DuPage County divorce child issues lawyerIf you think your divorce is stressful on you, it can be even more taxing on your children. For kids, their parents’ divorce is a very confusing and tumultuous time. While it is completely normal for children to be sad, uncertain, or even angry when their parents are going through a divorce, it is important for you to understand that there are things you can do to make the change somewhat easier. Divorce is a process, not only for you but also for your children. Your job as a parent is to help your children through this process so they are able to come out on the other side stronger and more well-rounded individuals.

Breaking the News

Many parents do not know how to talk to their children about divorce, much less how to break the news to them. The way you first tell your kids about your divorce can set the tone for the entire healing process. You should tailor your conversation to your children; if they are younger, it is best to keep the message simple and sweet. If you have older children, you can provide a little more detail, but it is still important to only share the information they need to know.

Helping Them Grieve

For children, a divorce can be a big emotional loss. Your job as a parent is to help your children work through their emotions and go through the grieving process. You should listen to what your children have to say and the worries that they share with you. Acknowledge and validate their feelings by letting them be open and honest with you. Reassure your kids that you and their other parent still love them and will always be there for them, even though you are no longer together as a couple.

Giving Them Stability

It is good for children to learn how to be flexible and go with the flow, but too many changes at once can spell disaster for children. A divorce can cause upheaval in almost all aspects of your life, which is why some children have such a hard time adjusting. You can help your children by providing them with as much stability as possible. Even if you and your spouse are no longer living together, try to keep your children’s routines the same as they were before. You should also try to keep expectations, rules, and discipline consistent across households.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

It is not uncommon for parents to worry about their children during their divorce, but as long as you take a proactive approach to helping your children cope, they will be just fine. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we understand the importance of minimizing conflict during a divorce–for your sake and your children’s sake. Child-related issues can be some of the most highly contested issues during a divorce, but having a seasoned Aurora, IL divorce attorney on your side can help. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

Source:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/children-and-divorce.htm

 

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DuPage County collaborative divorce lawyerMaking the decision to get a divorce is never easy. For many people, it takes months or even years to come to the conclusion that a divorce is their best option. Once a couple has accepted the idea of ending their union, they do not want to regress by going through a contentious and drawn-out divorce. For some couples, a collaborative divorce is a solution that works best for them. A collaborative divorce is a dispute resolution process that takes place in conference rooms or lawyers’ offices, rather than in the courtroom. The collaborative divorce process offers many benefits that the traditional divorce process cannot offer, including:

Less Hostility

One of the benefits that a collaborative divorce offers is the possibility of a more civil, less hostile divorce process. In a litigated divorce, you and your spouse are likely to have much more contention and may not be able to come to an agreement on issues. This does not mean that you and your spouse will not disagree with one another or that the negotiations will be simple in the collaborative process. However, you and your spouse are working together to create solutions that will benefit everyone in a collaborative divorce.

Better Support System

In a traditional litigated divorce, the only people involved in the divorce process are typically you, your spouse, and each of your attorneys. In a collaborative divorce, you may have a more rounded and complete team of professionals who are there to guide you and your spouse through the proceedings. In addition to your attorneys and based on the needs of your family, you can also have assistance from specialists like a forensic accountant, a property appraiser, an estate planning individual, a divorce coach, a family wellness counselor, or a child psychologist.

More Flexibility

One of the most important benefits of a collaborative divorce is the ability for you and your spouse to make your own decisions and come to your own conclusions, rather than having a judge make them for you. If you choose the litigated route, the judge will have to make decisions based on applicable state laws. In a collaborative divorce, you do not have to adhere to laws but can make decisions based on what works best for you and your family.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Attorney

A collaborative divorce is not for everyone, but it can be beneficial depending on the circumstances. If you think that a collaborative divorce could work between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse, your first step is to discuss your situation with an experienced Aurora, IL collaborative divorce lawyer. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we strive to help every client choose the divorce process that would best benefit them and their family. Contact us today by calling 630-409-8184 to set up a time for an initial consultation.

Sources:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-collaborative-divorce-is-a-route-worth-considering_b_59d11372e4b0f58902e5cd2d

https://www.familycircle.com/family-fun/relationships/collaborative-divorce-benefits/

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs3.asp?ActID=3804&ChapterID=59

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