Holidays with Divorce: Making the Season Joyful As Can Be

 Posted on December 00,0000 in DuPage County divorce lawyer

Divorce is, by definition, a messy process. At worst, you have another human being with close to equal rights to your shared property and your children, one with whom you do not agree and do not get along. But even at best, you have a stressful legal situation, with many unanswered questions and much red tape. Now that the holidays are coming up, how can you focus on Thanksgiving turkey, gift wrap, and alimony all at the same time, and still enjoy the season?

The Huffington Post has some excellent advice for those seeking a divorce over the holidays. If you or anyone you know is contemplating divorce, contact an experienced divorce attorney, then read this.

Being Right with You

You might be feeling a little raw over the divorce. Maybe you were wronged, or maybe you wanted to work things out, but your spouse did not. Maybe things did not quite go your way in the courtroom. For whatever reason, while you may be a little hard on yourself, it is important that you give yourself a break.

Accept that this is the way things are. There are things you can control, and things you cannot. Your divorce happened. Rather than railing against all the things that went wrong, focus on what you have. This could be your kids, this could be your health. Whatever you have to be thankful for, be thankful for it, and move on.

Then, throw yourself into the holiday. Decorations, gifts, cleaning: these are all things that the holidays afford us an opportunity in which to indulge. Do not dwell on the bad; focus on the good.

Being Right with Your Ex

Depending on your ex, things could have gone worse or better in your divorce. They are what they are though, and you cannot control the things your ex does; you can only control how you react to them. If you and your ex are on the outs, simply do your best to be mature. The old adage that “no one can make you feel bad but” you is time-honored for a reason. Rise above, be adult, and make the best of an admittedly bad situation.

Being Right with Your Kids

The article also provides some useful advice if you have children. The holidays are a perfect chance to spend some great time with them. Start a new family tradition. If you have always done things a certain way that is no longer possible, start something new that is even more fun.

Your children are likely feeling confused and hurt by the divorce, so it is important that you show them that you love them and that you will always be there for them. But be careful not to commiserate; just let them know they are supported and loved, and enjoy the holidays alongside them.

Finally, you must be civil with your ex. Using your children as leverage against your ex (better gifts, more privileges, etc.) will just create resentment on your ex’s part, and eventually on your children’s parts as well. Show your kids that you and your ex are at least treating each other like adults.

Divorce Attorney in DuPage County

Divorce can be confusing, painful, and stressful, and a key step to enjoying your holidays is reducing stress. An experienced Dupage divorce attorney can answer your questions, and can handle your case so that you can focus on more important things over the holidays. If you are contemplating divorce, contact a divorce attorney today.