Are You Withholding From Your Spouse?

withholding, DuPage County divorce lawyerMost divorce specialists say that withholding, an abusive behavior between spouses, is a quick way to destroy a marriage. How do you know if you or your spouse are withholding from each other? This behavior can take many forms, but is typically when one spouse stops communicating with the other, denies them of their time, or refuses to do something. There are a few common withholding behaviors, and it is important to recognize some ways you can correct them before they lead you to divorce.

Withholding Information

Anytime you keep a secret from your spouse you risk creating an emotional divide between the two of you. This type of withholding involves not sharing information with your spouse, be it financial information, what you do with your friends, different places you go, and so on. Over time, your spouse will likely come to feel as if they cannot trust you, and trust is key in any successful marriage. If you feel the need to hide things from your spouse, proceed with caution, as you risk damaging your marriage.

Withholding Affection

This type of withholding involves denying your spouse affection, physical contact, and intimacy. This could mean avoiding all human contact aside from or including sex with your spouse. Anytime you deny your spouse affection, you might make them feel unwanted or unlovable. This can lead to distance between you, or quite possibly may drive your spouse into the arms of another. Sex is also a healthy part of a marriage, can relieve stress, and help partners remain connected. If you or your spouse are denying the other sex, or intimacy of any kind, find a way to compromise. Work together to develop a situation where both you and your partner’s needs are being met.

Withholding Time

Getting caught up in our lives can be easy, especially when there are kids, or work, or other time commitments involved. It is important, however, to carve out time to spend with your spouse. How can you expect to stay close, connected, and healthy if neither of you ever spend time with each other? Denying your time to your spouse can make them feel like they are not valuable to you, and that you are avoiding spending time with them. Be sure that both of you take time to spend with each other, preferably alone, and never withhold time from each other as a tactic during a fight or to get back at each other.

Withholding Communication

Marriage takes work, and good communication between spouses is a major key to success. One divorce specialist says that, of all the types of withholding between spouses, denying communication is likely the most risky. Without communication, a marriage can not move forward. Denying communication with your spouse is essentially saying that you are not willing to work together through your issues, and that you do not feel your spouse is worthy of your time or interaction. It can be easy to shut down in the midst of conflict, and refuse to talk rather than face your issues head on. A successful marriage requires both partners to deal with their issues and work together towards mutual satisfaction. Listen to each other, respond accordingly, and you will be on track towards a healthy, long last marriage.

Sometimes Divorce Is the Answer

Any marriage deserves effort and patience from both partners. Unfortunately, some relationships can not be mended, and divorce may be the only choice. If you believe you and your spouse are headed towards divorce, you need a qualified Aurora divorce attorney by your side. Call [[phone]] to schedule a confidential consultation with us today.


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