Cooperation During Divorce Will Benefit Your Children

children, Aurora family law attorneyIt is widely accepted that going through a divorce is one of the most frustrating and stressful events a person can experience. Feelings of anger, guilt, regret and annoyance are common. Children can complicate the divorce process even more.  Parents may feel threatened that they will not receive the custody agreement they want or that the other parent will try to turn the children against them. As stressful as the experience for the adults who are ending their marriage, the situation can be even more frightening and confusing for the children in the middle of it. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to make the transition from married to not married easier for the smallest members of your family.

There Are No Winners in a Divorce

Mark Baer, collaborative law attorney and co-author of  Putting Kids First in Divorce: How to Reduce Conflict, Preserve Relationships and Protect Children During and After Divorce says that the first step is to have the right mindset about the divorce. Often, those going through a divorce have unresolved anger toward their spouse. He or she may have been cheated on or lied to, causing serious issues regarding trust. The memory of screaming matches or harsh words may still be fresh. Sometimes this means that the temptation to “get back” at a spouse can be strong.

Baer warns that this type of mentality can be very damaging.  There is no way to “win” a divorce, he says. “When children are involved, you can’t ‘win’ a divorce or aspects of a divorce, regardless of how you believe such a ‘win’ may feel. That feeling is typically short-lived, and the win-lose paradigm in a divorce tends not serve your or your children’s best interests in the long run,” Baer writes.

Children First

It may be uncomfortable and hurt your pride, but children are the real winners when spouses are willing to “be the bigger person” and make decisions cooperatively and with civility. Do your best to set your emotions aside and keep the focus on meeting your child’s best interests at every step of the process. When planning for your divorce, work with your attorney to determine what would be best for your children, not necessarily for yourself. Regardless of your personal differences, helping your children should be a common goal that you share with your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

Get Legal Advice

If you are a parent considering a divorce, contact an experienced family law attorney in Aurora, Illinois. Call [[phone]] to schedule a confidential consultation at the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. today. We are ready to help you provide the best possible future for your children no matter how complicated your divorce may be.



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