Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois parenting time and responsibilities lawyer,You would not think so, but some divorces are amicable and calm, mostly because the divorce was not contested and both spouses were in agreement about issues pertaining to the divorce. Though that is the perfect idea of a divorce, we do not live in a perfect world and more often than not, there is some sort of fighting and disagreement during the divorce process. In severe cases, the divorcing couple cannot stand to be in the same room as each other, making for a very high-conflict divorce. If you are experiencing a high-conflict divorce, here are a few tips you can use to help you cope.

Create Boundaries

The first step in dealing with a high-conflict spouse and a high-conflict divorce is setting boundaries for the new relationship you will have. Whether these boundaries are with your co-parenting relationship, the communication between the two of you or any other issue, boundaries are essential. Create them and stick to them.

Keep a Level Head

You soon-to-be ex-spouse may say things that will make you want to tear your hair out or scream at the top of your lungs. It is important that you do not do these things. Often, when your soon-to-be-ex says things that make you feel like that, they are looking for a rise out of you. Do not give them that benefit. You will be happier and your divorce will be slightly more peaceful.

Minimize Contact with Your Spouse

Another way to deal with a high-conflict spouse is by minimizing contact with them. Do not talk to them unless you have to. Do not see them in person unless you must do so. Making small talk with them will only give them the window of opportunity to engage in conflict-causing behavior. Treat any contact you must have with them like a business meeting. Only talk about what you must talk about and leave it at that.

Hire a Knowledgeable DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

Divorcing a volatile spouse can create a high-conflict divorce that can make your life miserable — unless you know how to deal with it. By doing your best to minimize conflict and to fuel the flame as much as possible, you can do your part in trying to keep your divorce as peaceful as possible. Getting help from a skilled Aurora, IL divorce lawyer is also beneficial in divorces like these. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we have decades of knowledge in dealing with every type of divorce imaginable. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

Sources:

https://esme.com/resources/divorce/getting-through-a-high-conflict-divorce

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-therapists-dont-tell_n_2622776

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/201709/marriages-come-and-go-high-conflict-divorce-is-forever

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois parenting time and responsibilities lawyer,When you have children and you are getting a divorce, there are many things you must worry about. Before you can finalize your Illinois divorce, you and your spouse must come to an agreement on a parenting plan, you must determine who gets child support and how much that support will be and you also have to figure out how the children will spend time between you and your spouse. Most of the time, parents will have similar parenting time schedules, as long as there are no extenuating circumstances that would require the children to spend more time with one parent. Parenting time exchanges can be stressful for both you and your children, but they can be easier with a little effort. Here are a few ways you can help your parenting time exchanges go by a little smoother.

Make a Visible Schedule for Your Children

Sometimes, it can be difficult for children to adjust to changes, especially when they are happening in their family. Making a visible schedule for your children to look at can help ease some of the stress and anxiety that your children may be feeling.

Communicate with Your Ex-Spouse

You should make sure you keep an open line of communication with your ex-spouse when you have children. Though you and your spouse’s romantic relationship is over, you will always have a connection to each other through your children. In order to avoid any uncertainties or confusion, keep in contact with your child’s other parent.

Meet in a Neutral Place

If you and your spouse have had a hostile relationship, it could be beneficial for everyone involved to meet in a public place to exchange the children. Meeting on neutral territory can help deter any arguments or altercations that may take place.

Try to Be on Time

It happens — sometimes you are just late, no matter how hard you try to be on time. As soon as you realize that you are running behind schedule, let the other parent know so they do not think you are just being inconsiderate of their time.

Hire a Skilled DuPage County Parenting Time Lawyer

Divorces can be tough on children, especially if they spend time with both parents and switch between them often. By getting into contact with an Aurora, IL parenting time attorney, you can be reassured that you have a solid parenting plan in place to minimize any conflicts you and your spouse may have. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we understand the difficulty that divorce can bring to a family. Let us help your family find peace after your Illinois divorce. Call our office today to set up a consultation.

 

Sources:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/co-parenting-tips-for-divorced-parents.htm/

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/making-transitions-easier-children

http://www.jud6.org/ContactInformation/familyLaw/Visitation%20Dos%20and%20Don’ts.pdf

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer,One of the biggest stressors that many divorcing couples have during — and after — their divorce is the children. Many parents worry that a divorce will put too much of a strain on their children, while other parents worry about having enough time with their children. While it is true that a divorce can be difficult for the entire family, children can be more flexible and adaptable than adults.

It is generally understood that children do best after a divorce when both of their parents are present and active in their lives. While this is true, many divorced families find that they do not come out of the divorce with the parenting plan they wanted. A new bill, called the “Equal Parenting Time” bill was introduced in Illinois recently, which aims to make it so that more parents have equal parenting time with their children after an Illinois divorce.

Current Parenting Time Guidelines

Under the current section in the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, parenting time is determined by first encouraging parents to try to come to an agreement on a parenting plan. If both parents do not submit a mutually-agreeable plan to the court, then the court allocates parenting time in accordance with the child’s best interests. When making this decision, the judge looks at a number of factors including, but not limited to:

  • The wishes of each parent;
  • The wishes of the child;
  • The amount of time each parent has performed caretaking functions for the child in the past two years;
  • The mental and physical health of both the parents and the child;
  • The needs of the child;
  • The willingness of each parent to facilitate a relationship between the child and the other parent; and
  • The willingness and ability of each parent to put the child’s needs before their own needs.

Proposed Changes to Guidelines

The proposed bill would change a few things about the allocation of parenting time in Illinois. There would be added language which states that, “it is in the child’s best interests to award equal time to each parent.” This means that both parents will be presumed to be fit parents. The court will begin with the presumption that each parent is awarded equal parenting time and then reduce or add time as needed upon findings that conflict with the child’s best interest.

Contact a Skilled DuPage County Parenting Time Attorney

Going through a divorce can be difficult. You may feel like you are not in control of your divorce, but with help from an Aurora, IL parenting time lawyer, you can be certain you are getting reliable help. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we can help you and your soon-to-be ex spouse try to settle on an agreeable parenting plan. If you and your spouse cannot come to an agreement on a plan, we can take other measures to ensure you receive the parenting time you need. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

 

Sources:

https://newschannel20.com/news/local/equal-parenting-time-bill-proposed-by-illinois-lawmaker

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/BillStatus.asp?DocNum=185&GAID=15&DocTypeID=HB&LegId=114046&SessionID=108&GA=101

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/fulltext.asp?DocName=&SessionId=108&GA=101&DocTypeId=HB&DocNum=185&GAID=15&LegID=114046&SpecSess=&Session=

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reasonsNothing lasts forever and in this day and age, marriages are included in that saying. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), nearly 36 percent of couples experience some form of marital disruption by their tenth year of marriage. By the time couples have been married for at least 20 years, that percentage jumps to 53 percent. Though those numbers seem high, some researchers have actually said that the U.S. divorce rate is declining. So why is the rate of marital disruption so high? Here are a few of the most commonly cited reasons that couples get a divorce.

Marrying at a Young Age

You have heard it before — getting married too young is not a good idea. Many studies have shown that couples who get married when they are teens or young adults tend to have a higher divorce rate than couples who get married in their late 20s or early 30s.

Infidelity

This one is perhaps one of the more well-known reasons for getting a divorce. Cheating on your spouse can be the kiss of death for a marriage. When one spouse cheats on another, the trust between the two of them is broken and if you are already experiencing a weak sense of trust, cheating may be the end.

Addiction and/or Substance Abuse

Another commonly-cited reason for divorce is one spouse’s drug or alcohol use. When you are addicted to something, it consumes your mind and life. A partner who is addicted to drugs or alcohol can destroy the family and be the last straw for some couples.

Financial Problems

Many couples therapists say that one of the main reasons couples seek therapy is for financial issues. Many couples also say that money problems were the reason for their divorce. When couples do not agree on the way money should be handled, arguments can become heated and divorces can result.

Have You Been Thinking About Getting a Divorce? Talk to an Aurora, IL Divorce Attorney

 There are many reasons why people choose to get a divorce, but in the state of Illinois, you do not have to state a reason on your divorce forms. If you have been thinking about getting a divorce, you should talk to a DuPage County divorce lawyer. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we understand that making the decision to get a divorce is a big one that should not be taken lightly. Contact our office today to begin discussing your options. To set up a consultation, call us at 630-409-8184.

 

Sources:

https://www.businessinsider.com/why-people-get-divorced-2017-12#lack-of-commitment-3

https://www.today.com/health/why-couples-get-divorced-t117476

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/d.htm#divorce

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