Posted on October 31, 2016 in Collaborative Law

People consistently envision the divorce process as an adversarial affair that pits parties against one another, which culminates with the ultimate goal of walking away with more than the other side. Divorces of this type do exist, but every divorce is not destined to be a series of contentious exchanges. Another approach is available that allows couples to maintain civil, working relationships so they have the ability to remain in contact once the divorce is finalized.

Collaborative divorce is an alternative method of navigating the end of a marriage that is conducted in a supportive environment and puts the parties in control of the outcome. Parties wishing to co-parent or retain a family business following divorce could benefit from this resolution process. Understanding that an alternative exists to traditional litigation grants divorcing parties greater freedom in working out conflict, which often leads to more cooperation.

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 Posted on October 28, 2016 in Divorce

When a marriage has reached a certain point, each spouse is at a crossroads of their own. You and your partner have the ability to decide whether to work together on improving the relationship or to admit that nothing more can be done to save the marriage. Obviously, the decision to work on reviving the marriage requires both of you to be on the same page and pulling in the same direction overall. If both of you choose to end the marriage, the divorce process can begin without delay. What happens, however, if you are ready for a divorce but your spouse wants to keep fighting for the relationship?

Be Absolutely Sure

Before you tell your spouse that you are ready for the marriage to be over, you need to be completely certain that is what you want. A divorce is a life-changing event that can lead to serious emotional reactions and psychological effect for years to come. When ending a marriage is necessary, such challenges are an accepted part of seeking new, post-divorce life, but it is not fair to you or your spouse for you to be casual about your decision. Talk to a counselor or a spiritual advisor become making your decision. Remember, if fixing your marriage does not work, divorce will always be an option, but the same is not true in reverse.

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 Posted on October 21, 2016 in Child Custody

The decision to file for divorce is always a difficult one, but the challenges are often magnified when the situation involves children. While issues like marital property and spousal support are certainly important, the future of your children and your parental rights should never take a back seat to more material concerns. The judge overseeing your divorce has authority under the law to issue orders regarding your children, but the process should begin with the two people who know your children the best: you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

Statutory Encouragement

The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act presumes that divorcing parents will have an interest in developing a parenting plan that fits their individual circumstances and serves the best interests of their children. Therefore, divorcing parents are expected to draft and submit a proposed arrangement to the court. Each parent may draft a separate plan or the parents can work together on a single proposal. If the parents submit a jointly-drafted plan, the court must review it to be sure that it is reasonable and that the child’s interests are fully protected.

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 Posted on October 14, 2016 in Divorce

Do you know a couple who intentionally chose to get married on a particular date based on how the month, day, and year coincided—January 2, 2003, for example, often written as 1/2/03? Or perhaps you know a couple who plan to get married on Valentine’s Day. While such choices are often seen as quirky or romantic, new research suggests that couples who marry on dates that may be considered gimmicky could be at a higher risk for divorce than those who choose more traditional dates.

Australian Study

Economists at the University of Melbourne in Australia were interested in learning more about the impact that a couple’s wedding day could have on the future of the marriage. The team cited previous research suggesting that expensive weddings and pricey engagement rings increased the risk of divorce while well-attended weddings with formal ceremonies decreased such risks. Looking to expand these ideas, the Australian team looked at more than one million Dutch marriages from 1999-2013 and examined how the choice of a wedding date fared for couples on average.

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 Posted on October 12, 2016 in Divorce

As most people are aware, somewhere between 30 and 40 percent of all marriages today will eventually end in divorce. While this number has declined in recent years, a 60-70 percent success rate for marriage is still not all that encouraging. Marriages can break down for any number of reasons, and, in most cases, divorce is the result of a combination of many factors, some within the spouses’ control and some not.

A Challenging Journey

The process of divorce, however, can be extremely difficult with many decisions to be made and arrangements to be negotiated. This does not even take into account the emotional and psychological struggle that many divorcing individuals go through as the process goes along. The cumulative effect of all of the difficulties can be overwhelming at times, but some experts suggest that there may be a way to ease your mind a little and to provide emotional relief to your spouse at the same time. Confessing, or taking responsibility for wrongs you may have committed, can go a long way in making the divorce process much smoother for the both of you.

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 Posted on October 07, 2016 in Divorce

October is Domestic Awareness Month, and it is important to note that domestic violence is not limited to physical actions like hitting and kicking. In many cases, emotional abuse or psychological abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse, and can certainly lead to the breakdown of a marriage. In fact, for many years, repeated mental or emotional cruelty was considered grounds for divorce in Illinois. While all divorces in the state must now be on the no-fault grounds of irreconcilable differences, it is still important to be able to recognize such victimization when it occurs. One type of this emotional abuse is referred to as “gaslighting.”

Does your partner often deny any knowledge of events or conversations that you know took place? On the opposite end, does he or she insist things happened which did not? Does he or she accuse you of misremembering past events? Does your partner ever insist that you said or did something of which you have no relocation? If so, you may be a victim of gaslighting.

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 Posted on September 30, 2016 in Divorce

When you are involved in a long-term committed relationship or a marriage—communication is one of the most important keys to happiness. Those who are able to communicate tend to enjoy higher levels of marital satisfaction and a better understanding of one another. Those who cannot or who only speak to one another superficially are likely to find their marriage spiraling quickly toward divorce.

The Concept of Stonewalling

Spouses can easily become frustrated with each other for any number of reasons. The stresses of day-to-day life can begin to drive a wedge between marital partners. Careless behavior, bad habits, and other minor annoyances start to become major issues if and when communication breaks down.

Marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph.D., was the first relationship expert to use the term “stonewalling” to describe the behavior of a spouse who refuses to engage in conversation with his or her partner. Stonewalling, in effect, is one partner shutting down and preventing effective communication from taking place.

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 Posted on September 21, 2016 in Divorce

While it can no longer be formally cited as grounds for divorce in Illinois, infidelity is still a major problem for many married couples. But, what causes cheating? How can so many people make such a choice when they know that their actions will hurt their partners? As you might expect, those who cheat tend to do so for a variety of reasons, and understanding what they are may help prevent unexpected surprises in your relationship.

Personal Reasons

For some people, the inclination to cheat may be almost hard-wired. Gender, personality, and individual values may make an individual more inclined to be unfaithful. Men are more likely to cheat than women, while those with strong conservative religious and political beliefs are often less likely to commit acts of infidelity.

Relationship Factors

Sociologists and marriage experts suggest that a person who is unhappy or unsatisfied in his or her marriage—consciously or not—may be more prone to cheating. A spouse who feels fulfilled, appreciated, and genuinely happy in the relationship is less likely to seek another source of such feelings. When cheating does occur due to relationship factors, the couple must consider carefully whether or not the marriage is worth saving, because doing so will take a great deal of work.

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 Posted on September 16, 2016 in Child Support

Earlier this year, a Cook County judge ordered a Herscher car dealership to pay $2.3 million in fines for failing to withhold child support payments from the paychecks of a former employee. The decision was the largest child-support related ruling in the history of Illinois, but it seems that the dealership will only be held responsible for part of the original fine.

The Daily Journal in Kankakee reports that dealership and the woman who filed the original complaint have reached an agreement to close the matter for good. The details of the settlement, including the final amount to be paid, have not been released, but both sides say they are satisfied with the outcome.

Unprecedented Fine

Back in April, Cook County Judge Bonita Coleman ruled that Country Chevrolet in Herscher failed to comply with state laws requiring the withholding of wages for child support. The dealership argued that the worker in question—the company’s finance manager—was an independent contractor and not an employee, so the law did not apply. Judge Coleman disagreed and ordered the dealership to pay almost $8,000 in back child support for the nine months the man was employed. The judge also levied a fine of $100 per day for the more than two years it took for the dealership to make appropriate payments to the Illinois State Disbursement Unit. The total fine was approximately $2.3 million, the biggest such fine on record in the state.

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 Posted on September 14, 2016 in Prenuptial & Postnuptial Agreements

In the United States, an estimated 40 to 50 percent of all first marriages end in divorce. That number jumps to 60 percent for second and subsequent marriages. In survey after survey, one of the top issues that cause major rifts between married couples is finances. Different spending habits, different saving habits, and other differing perspectives on how money should be handled can do a lot of damage in a marriage. For example, one survey revealed that 47 percent of the couples surveyed had completely opposite spending and saving habits, which led to much stress in the marriage.

These statistics make a good argument as to why it is critical for engaged couples to have serious discussions regarding finances before they get married. Knowing how your future spouse handles money can help avoid big surprises after the vows are exchanged.

Future Career Goals

Knowing what your significant other’s future career and income goals are will help give you good insight of where money ranks in their priority list. Does your future spouse have a career which requires long hours away from home? Or does your future spouse have a more family-oriented outlook and is not as concerned with advancements in their line of work? Understanding what each other’s future goals are will help the two of you achieve balance in your marriage.

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